Like many, I am a woman that wears many hats..

I am a daughter/daughter-in law/sister/sis-in law..
I live in my own home..I send my precious daughter to my mummy/mak when I work and I constantly remind myself that I need to be fair..I also make it a point to spend time with both sides..So much so that I rarely get to meet my friends and I always wonder how they are and wish them well..But being human, I make mistakes..When husband asks me about last min outings(when I've already made plans), I get mad..When one side has been favoured more than the other, I get cross..When I do not get to meet my sisters(esp my newly married sis who now lives far away), I get upset..When both sides asks my family out on the same day, I get confused..

Yet, all these are not seen..What is seen, is...
Why Auni spends more time here than there?
Why you never go out with us anymore?
All the whys..
Yet, I feel thankful that my faraway sis has twitter now and we can ketchup..I hope my lil sis gets a data plan soon..

When people hear about me having both mums taking care of my daughter, they told me that I must make use of this opportunity to have more babies as both mums are still strong and capable to take care of my children for me..What I do not understand is that these people are women, themselves!! How do they feel when they are put in such shoes?

How would you feel when you have done your part in bringing up your children all those years and then, now you got to take care of your grandchildren and start over again? Some mums are ok with it..Some mum are not..

4 words: Being taken advantage of..These 4 words constantly play in my mind when I observe grandparents being taken advantage of by irresponsible parents..Irresponsible is how I describe parents who treat their own parents as slaves..I've seen so much that I vowed never to fall in such catergory..Enough said..


I am a wife..
Ever since Auni was born, I admit that I do neglect my husband at times..All are unintentional, of coz..Demands of caring for a baby and making sure the chores(housecleaning, laundry, cooking, ironing) are done, takes a toll on me..I do not have a luxury of having a maid..At night, when he seeks my company just for a little chat, I feel so sad when I do not even have energy to talk to him..Once my head rests on my pillow, I fall in a deep slumber..Even my husband said that I now snores a lot!! Our communication suffered..We fought more cos we do not understand each other's needs..Well, that was long ago..We had a good talk a few weeks back and decided that to make this marriage work, we got to put in more effort..So we must take any opportunity to bond..I am happy to say that I feel like I'm a teen again, deep in love with my first love.. :))


I am an Ummi(read:Mummy)..
I am blessed to have my own lil one..I am blessed that she is healthy, active, chatty and the most adorable 19 month old that I've ever seen(yes, I am being very biased here, hehe)..Sometimes I feel I am not good enough, a failure..When she cries and I do not understand what she is saying, I get almost mental..When I get back from work, exhausted, I feel so hopeless when she is talking to me and I am almost dozing off..I sometimes detest weekends cos I get 48 hrs with her yet I got to do chores..She'll follow me like a shadow and I feel so guilty that I abandon my chores to spend time with her..When my laundry baskets(yes, I got 2) overflow, I cry..

Being a preschool educator, I do know how to 'educate' my child..However, I think people take me too literally..Every child is different..Whatever methods I learn, I must adapt them to Auni's capabilities..I get very stressed when punches are thrown at me..'You studied this, then why...' 'How come Auni is...' Hey, cut me some slack! Like I always say, every child is different..And what I firmly believe is that parents are the first teachers of the child..Education is important..But for now, I refuse to send her to school, cos to me, a lot more can still be learnt @ home and the environment surrounding her..Auni is blessed to have 2 grandmas taking care of her..1 speaks more English than Malay..The other speaks more Malay than English and @ times, sings Arabic songs to her..So ain't she lucky?

Yes, next is the infamous question is when I want to have my 2nd one..So when? I do leave it to God Almighty and I do believe in family planning as well..How contradicting, aye? I believe when the time is right, I will have my 2nd one..When God Almighty believes that I am ready, I will have my 2nd one..For now, my attention is to nurture my 1st born to be best that I can..


I am a worker..
To meet demands of high living standards in our country, I must work..I loathe waking up early(read:4.10am) in the mornings..However when I am @ work, all the negativity disappears cos I enjoy what I am doing..There have been some changes @ my workplace but I believe that I work for a living and not live to work so I chose not to bother about such matters..As long as I work hard, that is all that matters..In the end, all this hard work is for my family..For us to have a more comfortable living..For me to lessen husband's load..At such difficult times, I am thankful that I have a job that I love even tho @ times, I wish the pay could be raised..hehe..


That's a whole load of my chest!! Hehehe..

Just my feelings, peeps..Not intending to point fingers to anyone..

Toodles!!