The Lives of 2 beautiful souls + 1 more..*love*

My heart is aching..

My tears are falling..They flow like an endless stream..

Just hearing his voice makes my heart ache more and my tears flow more..

It saddens him to hear me cry, to hear my pain..It hurts him as he can't do anything but to listen to me sobbing..

Sorry, Darling..

I can't help it..

I'm just so attached to you..

We've been married for 8 months now and not for a single moment we've been separated..

Though usually on some nights(mostly Tuesdays), I will be left alone at home till he comes back from his night classes..

Though I am alone for those long hours, he will still come back to me..right to my arms..

Now.........

Yesterday morning, DH and I woke up at the same time, took the MRT to reach our destinations..I was heading to work @ Buona Vista and he was heading to camp with his huge duffel bag and backpack @ Clementi..I was silent throughout the journey(which worried him) as I just do not want to burst out into tears and make others think that I am a mad woman..

But the moment I had to alight at my station, I couldn't contain myself..He kissed my head and I salam-ed him and with watery eyes, I quickly made my way out of the MRT before I completely break down..

@ work, I cried silent tears when noone was looking..I comforted myself with his promise to come back to me that night as he could book out..

I went home, a happier person..

I cleaned the house, took a nap (still car-lagged from KL trip during CNY) and waited for my Darling Hubby to come home..

The moment I heard the bell rung countlessly, I made a mad rush to the door..Usually I would scold him for ringing the bell so many times but yesterday, I was just so happy to know that he was back..Back to be with me..

I opened the gate and hugged him and didn't let go till he entered the house..I hugged him tightly and didn't let go for a solid 5 minutes..5 minutes may seem short to some but to me, it was like eternity..We embraced as if we were separated for a long time..It did seemed that way..

As I hugged him, I cried..He stroked me so gently to soothe me..

This morning, he had to report to camp by 7 am..He told me that he needed to leave earlier than yesterday and that I do not need to accompany him as its too early..I adamantly refuse and vow to go with him thought it is rather early..

We left home at 5.30 am..Instead of dropping off at Buona Vista, I accompanied him to Clementi (to his surprise) and bought Mac breakfast and sent him to his bus..The moment we separated, tears welled up..I knew that would be the last time I will see him till the next time he could book out..

I silently cried, walking back to the station to go to Buona Vista..I silently cried in the MRT..I silently cried at work..

And now I silently cry at home..

I am at my parents' now as DH forbade me to stay at home alone..

As my daddy sent me home to get my clothes, I cried as I walked up my stairs, knowing I will not stay at my home..The home DH and I lived for 8 months..I cried as I entered the house, knowing I just left home with DH this morning..I cried as I entered my bedroom to take my clothes, knowing that I was just there with him this morning and last night..I cried as I looked at my bed, knowing I would not sleep with him tonight and to have him hugging me to sleep..I just cried..

I cried so much that I only took my clothes for work..I totally forgot everything else..Lingerie..Toothbrush..Cosmetics..

I cried in the car as I silently said goodbye to my home..I cried when I was going up the stairs of my parents' home, knowing that I will not be with him tonight..

I cried when we talked on the phone and DH said that it is not confirmed that he will be allowed to book out tomorrow night..If that happens, I will only get to see him again on Friday..*sobs*

The hardest part which made me cry the most was when he asked me to rub my tummy for him and that he do not want me to cry and be sad as he do not want his Little One to be sad..

*sobs*

DH should be asleep now..Lights out..

Before we ended our conversation, he wished me good night and said that he loves and misses me and Little One..

*sobs*

My family knows that I am hiding myself in my sisters' room and crying..They are giving me space which I need to calm myself down before I go out and mingle with them (which DH requested so I would not think of him and cry)..

I shall end here..

DH, I truly miss you..

I dug the laundry basket to get the singlet you wore and which still have your smell..Hopefully, that will calm me down and soothe me to sleep..

Nothing beats having you around..

*sobs*